One day
by Uyuki
Summary: Aya's and Asou's thoughts on the illness that struck her and how it changed their lives.
1. One morning

**Disclaimer:** It is pretty obvious I don't own any of this. After watching the drama I was so moved that I had to write something. Trying to get into Aya's head was pretty hard but I had to give it a try.

By the way, I'm sorry if there's any mistakes or weird stuff. English is not my mother tongue.

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**One day  
**

**by Uyuki**

**One morning  
**

One morning my life changed. I had been a normal girl up until that day, having fun with my friends, studying hard to get into Higashikou and thinking about what the future was holding for me.

Now there is no real future I can look forward to. My days are spent at the hospital because my body will no longer support my weight. I can no longer walk or talk. I'm afraid of going to sleep at night because I don't know if I'll wake up again.

There are days I wish I could just change my body. I wish that, only by closing my eyes I'd realize this is just a dream and not my life. But I know is not going to happen and I think a part of me has already accepted it, part of me realizes that this disease has come to be part of my life, part of me. Trying to change things is not going to be good for anyone, and it will only bring more tears. I don't want to cry anymore.

One morning my days here will come to an end, but the people I know will still be here. The streets will remain the same, the view will not change and some people will never know I even existed.

I will no longer be in pain, I won't shed more tears for my loved ones. Dying only changes everything for the people that stay behind and must keep on living, when I die, I won't care anymore, because I won't exist anymore. Maybe I'll be able to walk again, run. Talk.

I wonder if the people around me will remember me. I wonder what will my family do after I go, what will become of my brother and sisters, what the future holds for them. I wonder what Asou will do.

One morning, ten years ago, I tripped on my way to school. I put it in the back of my mind and paid no attention to it, thinking I was just really clumsy due to the lack of sleeping. It was so hard for me to realize I had an incurable disease. My world shattered into tiny pieces and every hope I had was crushed in a second. I can't remember how long it took me to finally accept the reality

One morning I met Asou-kun after I had knocked down a bunch of bicycles. He seemed a bit upset but he helped me and took me to school anyway. We became a sort of friends after that, although he kept to himself quite a lot. How I wish I could've had more time with him. Go out on a date. Walk with him. How I would've love to be kissed by him, just one time. But I never got the courage to ask him, or to do it myself. I don't want to regret that decision, but I keep wondering if I'll have another chance to see him and if I'll push myself to kiss him. I love him so and I don't want to hurt him, maybe it'll do no good to any of us.

One morning I couldn't walk anymore and I had to give up the school I loved so much, my friends and all the things I liked to do. I kept loosing control of my body and there was nothing I could do about it but watch. My only relief was that I could still speak and it was such a pleasure to do it as long as it lasted. To be able to have a conversation with okaasan or with Asou-kun was nice. Now that I don't even have that it seems like my world keeps getting smaller. How much longer is it gonna be like this? What can I do now? My hands won't hold a pen to write in my diary, I can't write down more words and there's still so much I want to say.

One morning I fell in love. But I won't be able to marry as things are.

One morning my dad took a picture of us and I was looking forward. Now I just think on how to keep on living.

One morning I'll die and when that happens I just hope that my words keep helping people out.

That's all I want.

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An attempt to get into Aya's head on the last days of the disease. I might do another chapter with Asou's thoughts n_n


	2. One night

Okay second and final part ^^. Again nothing belongs to me. I write to get things out of my system, that's it. Don't sue me, it won't be profitable and I'm poor so I have no money to give you or to pay for a lawyer ^^.

Enjoy. This is Asou's PoV.

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**One night**

One night I discovered a terrible secret. I found out that Ikeuchi had an incurable disease. Spinocerebellar degeneration disease. The worst part of it was there was no cure.

I know I shouldn't have read that file, but I had to know. I hate being kept in the dark, as if I couldn't take the truth.

She was going to die and there was nothing to be done. I read every book on the subject and the answer never changed. I got angry. Life wasn't fair. She was a good person.

One night I realised I liked Ikeuchi. I found her in the park feeding a little dog we had found earlier that day. She wanted to keep him and I walked her home. I even stayed for dinner as her mother requested me to do so, not that I needed to be asked. I realised then how different they were from my own family. It felt warmer.

We started talking a bit more since then. I would still refuse the idea of loving her, but her smile wouldn't make things any easier. She was normal for a while, but then she started getting worse. She started staying in the hospital making rehab. It was during a visit that I found out what she really had.

One night I ran to the zoo because I knew her actual boyfriend wouldn't go and see her. I stood by her and told her he wasn't coming. She didn't look so surprised, she was expecting that. Still she cracked, she confessed me what her illness was, and what was going to happen to her. I think it was the first time I saw her cry so much. She yelled she wanted to go back in time, that she wanted to live. That she didn't care if humans were arrogant and selfish, she still wanted to live. She was angry and I don't blame her. I got angry as well. I wanted her to live.

One night I cried all the tears I had, alone in my bedroom. Earlier that day Ikeuchi had heard a conversation in the classroom, everyone was talking about her, about the special needs and how that affected all of them. She said nothing, picked up her notebook and left the classroom. I ran after her, couldn't help it. We went out and we stopped in the bridge where I first met her. That time I just thought she was a clumsy girl knocking down all the bicycles.

She thanked me for always been there for her, she was going to leave school and I couldn't stand the thought. She cried silently and I fell to the floor behind her, crying as well, realising I was going to lose her either way. First she would leave school, then she would have to be hospitalised and in the end she would leave this Earth. She would leave my world.

I got home and cried all night. I felt pathetic, a grown up boy crawled in his bed like a ten year old. But I think that part of me finally accepted the reality that night. I was starting to cope with the imminent future.

One night I called her on her new mobile, I loved to talk with her, just to hear the sound of her voice was more than enough.

One night, after visiting the aquarium, I had to get her home in a cab because rain started to pour down like crazy. Her mother was so angry at me for risking her like that. I apologised not knowing what else to do. And then she called, she was so sad, she was losing the ability to talk and she didn't want to drag me with her. Knowing that she didn't want me by her side at such difficult time hurt me, but I couldn't care less what she said. I would never leave her alone, and I told her no matter how slow she spoke, I would be there to listen. Always.

One night I read a letter she handed me. She said she was so happy for meeting me but that she couldn't see me anymore. My dad was right, I wasn't prepared to get myself into a relationship with her. But it was too late already. I had fallen in love years ago.

One night I visited her, she couldn't speak anymore but that was all right. She used an alphabet to tell me to read her diaries. I found anger and hope in them. I found questions that broke my heart. Hopes and dreams shattered...

She told me to live on. I promised to do so.

One night I fell in love, but I won't be able to be with her or spend the rest of my life with her.

One night she made me promise that I would live, now I don't know how to do it.

One night she died. Her breathing stopped and that was it. All her suffering ended, she had gone to heaven.

Her diaries kept on helping people out, I know that much. I know that was her dream.

As for me, I became a doctor and there are days that I don't know how to get up in the morning or how to go on. I miss her so much. Sometimes I keep calling her mobiles, hoping that she will answer and everything will go back as it used to be.

I know that's not gonna happen. And now I keep wondering why I never kissed her. How could I have let that opportunity pass?

It really doesn't matter anymore. I can only keep my promise now. No matter how hard it seems at times. I know I'll be able to be with her, see her smile and hear her voice again.

Because I'll die too, and then we'll be together.

One day.


End file.
